listening:: "matando güeros" - brujeria (Spanish death metal!!)
The coordinator for the Little League concession stand called me a few days back to enlist me to work for them some more. My first thought was, "yay money!" But of course, with my luck, they're not paying this time. I signed up for two dates out of the kindness of my heart, but I was actually a little nervous: I haven't talked to Devon since the time I asked him to the movies.
I accidentally blew off the first day I was supposed to work there, because it was the morning after I spent the night at Kelly's, so I was still at her house. Yesterday was the second day I signed up for. I went.
He was there.
I was shaking really bad, but I didn't notice until I had to spatula hamburgers onto hamburger buns for him. I was so scared I was going to drop one or that he would see my hand shaking. It doesn't matter, I kept telling myself. Then Denise sent Devon and I to concession #2 to drop off some stuff. Alone. Walking. Together. Thank God for Devon, though. He's so nice. It wasn't even akward or anything. Unfortunately, he's really funny and he talks alot, and I can't think on my feet, so most of our conversation was him talking and me laughing and edging in one or two comments. If I could just have more time with him...my personality takes forever to show it's damn self. Sometimes I wonder if I even have one. Hmm.
I'm so pathetic. I'm on the verge of crying right now. Or maybe screaming. I love him so much. He's the only person I've ever said that blatantly about, 'cept not to his face. The eye contact was killing me. His eyes are so pretty, and, I think, the only eyes I've ever noticed without being in a relationship. I'm not much of an eye person. Except, obviously, for him.
Him, him, him.
Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I swear...he looked at me a lot more, from across the room and stuff...I dunno. There was a nice little vibe. Nothing too serious, but it was nice. He's so perfect. But possibly gay. <3
I'm eating this new flavor of ice cream from Blue Bell, it's called Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!, which is the stupidest name for ice cream ever. My mom got it because she thought it was Cookies 'n' Cream. Even though it's NOT. But this ice cream strangely reminds me of myself.
*Prepare for deep ice cream philosophy*
When I first took a bite of it, I was like "what the hell is this?" I assumed the base ice cream flavor would be vanilla because it looked vanilla-colored, but it's actually brown sugar ice cream, which is a cool change from the ordinary. The ice cream has three kinds of cookies in it: chocolate chip cookie dough, oreo type cookies, and oatmeal cookies. It takes awhile to get used to, you know? Because it's different. And it's not one of those ice creams you either love or hate. It's one of those ice creams that's just its own entity because there's no other ice cream like it.
So this ice cream is like me because people look at me and think that I'm going to be such-and-such because I dress a certain way, but then they get to know me and I'm something completely different from their expectations. I'm different ^_^ And just as this ice cream has all different kinds of cookies in it, I have different sides to myself. And the ice cream takes awhile to get used to, because it's not your typical vanilla-or-chocolate ice cream, and I take awhile to get used to because I'm a strange little person. And different. You know what? This made a whole lot more sense in my head. But was that deep or what? (*cough* and a little far-fetched) Yeah I notice things like how my ice cream is like me. Wow. Ok. I'm done.